Everyday I have skirted the outer edges of the crisp blue ripples capturing my eyes. Acoustics of waves crashing against one another – speaking their riddles into to deep depths that only certain creatures can grasp. I am jealous. They make me want to transform into some mythological being and become one with the sea. To be intimate with the waves. To sing in the tides that are pulled by the tunes of the moon. I have listened to them and they tease my innards with their flickers. Foam settling between my toes – they look at me and laugh, knowing of my longing. Anger subsiding each time as they swallow me into their sweet and gentle petting. Tickling me into the tip of my nose.
I let their feathery banter consume my feet, my gaze continually being extracted into the horizon. An endless mass – blue reaching blue severing in half our worlds. Whisking my illusions feeling balance of blues and grays take hold. Reminiscing on the crevassing dark blacks of the night before. Consummated in mad love – while the water soothes my aches reviving hopes. The salty sting envelopes me spinning its pools with new clothes. Coaxing an adoration song through my abode entering its peace pricking my soul. Suffrage in my bowels setting my frame firmly and the sand devours me as I cast my overflowing thoughts to the wind: “Why wasn’t I a dolphin?”
I walk these ventures everyday. Faithfully the flows beckon words into my ears. Filling me with incantations from the sea. It spoke to me a long time ago. It whispered sweet nothings pounding my nautical drums. Smitten with my desires, hiding away our intimate relations. The sea and I have shared each other quietly, understanding the solitude of each while playing our circles together. My beauty released notes for me and its songs were far more beautiful than what any being could conjure up. As it sang it would leave me and say “Beckon the two pillars”. Halting me to stare deeply into its crashing mass – I played along: “Arise two pillars! Arise! I beseech you to come forth.”
I did know what it meant, but I knew that was my calling. I was destined to beckon the two pillars. Imaginations catapulting into other dimensions, seeking out wondrous tales of the sea. As reality would set in over the years I convinced myself that I had made it all up – I could not let go. My hope was tangled in the intimacy we shared. My strength was dependent upon the sea. All it offered me with no commitment – its songs and the promise of the two pillars. My delicate grains of sand would caress my feet surrounding them in perfectly fit slippers. Their hugs gave me warmth as the wind attacked my flesh, and year after year the sea repeatedly teased me.
Though I love the sand too it is so clingy. “Just get off of me, you are so cleaving.” From the need to feel free from its grasp my anger would rise: “I like you and all, but please get off!” It has caused me such grief. Adhering to me, following me into my car, my house, my hair, driving my legs mad. On certain days however, my heart melted into its mold. At times my only friend that would surround me and hold me close. Those days it didn’t hurt. Its soft fluffiness could rub my skin – angelic wings showering me in serene kisses. Words would puff: “I only love you when you are soft never when you are sticky.” It didn’t seem to care it continued to touch me and stick to me whenever it pleased.
Today the sky is bright blue, sun rising its swallowing smile into me. The beach is empty. Seeking the ever silence of bodies – elation overtook me knowing there was no need to cover up my disdain for those polluting my canvas. My desires this day are to speak to the ocean and look for lost creatures that need saving. My mission is to treasure trove needing fish or sea snails that are too far away from the water. I desperately need to capture them and throw them back into the sea.
I recall one day when I discovered a huge walrus lying on its side. In the distance it was an indeterminable mass. My heart rang for it and I couldn’t walk fast enough. Both fear and empathy stung me. Such a large creature brought the reality of my own size. The sand cradling it as a coffin. I went to examine it closer discovering its face had been eaten off. It was the most diabolical thing I ever saw. Rage spewed from my lips and my small fists pumped at the ocean.
“You cruel, vile, despicable brine! Evil! How could you toss out such a magnificent creature? You wicked bath allowing another creature to devour it in such a way.”
I turned my back on it and screamed “Why are you such a callous beast?” It tossed waves back and just said “It’s nature.” I was blistering. Dominated by all of the evils that go on in the depths of its bowels. Its ruthless ways that destroy lands and eats up people, ships – gulping down treasures. My eyes sunk into its cold heart quietly saying: “You are mean.” It sang me a love song as the bubbles and foam caressed my feet and shins. Then it reminded me to beckon the to two pillars.
A smirk forming over my lips I did as it asked.
Today my oceanic desire is quiet. Calming with delicate waves and soothing rich songs. Hiding from me depths of affections. My sand and the sun are the only two speaking today. Its silence trembles me – its calmness could be a trick. Its ferocious temper could be brewing and twisting below waiting to cast out all its anger without warning. Flaring out its violence onto its faithful companions. Destructive acts in which it shows no remorse – there is never an apology. It calmly states: “It’s nature.”
Then again, its silence could be the lonely feel unable to embrace and capture its pleasure. Only able to look at it from a distance longing to embrace and hold its desires. Cradling in blanketed waves, fondling with foamed bubbles manifesting its great adoration.
“What are you doing my ocean love? Where are all the creatures I need to save? Where is my purpose this morn? Where is my sweet song I’ve been waiting for you to wrap around my frame? Why won’t you call my name?”
Crashing waves my only comfort. It has come to this. Sand covering my toes, and I want nothing to do with it. The sun lavishing me with affection and I want to be in the shade. The moon peeking through a blue sky smiling reflections of comfort. And I just want to hear the sound of hidden breakers.
“You are so cold today my friend. No words from my fragrant lovely. Frigid waters drink me up, and the sun burns my face. No creatures on my pet sand, my eyes seek hope. Sea my love I have trusted you pre-tell if your tidal wave is going to consume me. I cannot play games today. I need something to save… Good-bye sea my dear. I will see you tonight, please give me a promise for tonight.”
My thoughts are calm, but I am searching for hope today. My safe place has seemed to forgotten me and given nothing in return. “Wait. Did I hear you?”
“Beckon the two pillars! Beckon the two pillars!”
Flinging sand beneath my feet casting pings into my legs, I have heard my ocean’s call. Water droplets meshing into my clothes, freezing my feet, sand supporting me covered in hope.
“Arise two pillars! Arise! I beseech you to come forth.”
Crashing, quaking, erupting my eyes cannot contain the booming waves. Clamoring in high flux the whirlpools wrapping round my ankles. Sinking into a vortex, I am swooned and dragged to the bottom of the sea standing before two pillars. Who am I to save?