Tomorrow came and went and there has been no sign of my friend Raven. I’ve given up my silly thoughts and set my focus on the actions of the girl. She has been acting differently — odd behaviors that I have not seen in a while. I noticed her frantic writing — nonstop. She stares out the window sometimes looking at me, the tree, and the moon throughout the silent night. She does not come out to talk to us though. I haven’t seen her like this in years. It is too familiar. She is focused and determined with something, but something is wrong because it has been weeks since she has rubbed her fingers against the trunk of the tree. She has not come out to look at me and play. Her eyes seem to have a spark I do not recognize, but I do. I wonder what she has been doing. I miss her.
A month has passed with no sound of Raven, but I still have a feeling he is here. At times I feel a shadow close by, turning my head quickly only to see leaves blowing. It also feels like I hear his “Cawing”, but hidden in the trickery of “Hoot’s” That silly crow can camouflage his voice to sound so close to my sister’s. He did have fun messing with that strange bird.
I have assumed loneliness has taken hold of me. I figure my imagination has corrupted my senses that, or the anxiety I am feeling for the girl. My heart has missed my friend for a long time. Is that him? I swear I smell you Raven…Are you there? Do not mess with me my friend reveal yourself before I begin to get angry. Nothing. I am beginning to feel like I am going mad. A wise owl should not be fooled by winds, and shadows. My kin would mock me for sure if they knew what was happening. I still get a whiff of him though.
Possibly my loneliness and old age is getting to me, but Raven was the only true friend I have had. We had a special connection already, but when the girl and boy finally met we were threaded into a knot. We kindled a friendship like no other. I believe the universe may have provided us with this friendship for the intent to keep the focus on our humans.
It worked for a long time — our platonic arrangement and the ability to not allow any feelings penetrate our hearts for the girl and boy. Raven has always been able to keep his distance and cut off any empathy. I have failed in this, but it wasn’t until the boy left and I watched the girl break. It was then I became soft. I believe even the goddess Athena would have softened her warrior’s heart for the girl. My poor girl who is sitting at her desk cramping her fingers with a pen.
She does that to torture herself. I noticed after she completely shutdown, all of the tears stopped. Her eyes could produce no more secretion for herself –her eyes seemed deadened. She lost feeling for herself. After a while, she forced herself to write with ink and pad. The pain was written all over her face and her hand would cramp looking like my own talon. She is doing it now — the ache in her bent fingers creeping into her arm and shoulder. She will not stop it is like an obsession to get the words out. I believe that is the only time she is able to honestly feel anything. The pain in her fingers is the driving force to not lose any feeling. At times I can see the fear in her eyes when she stops for a moment — the realization that the only thing she feels is pain, but it is better to feel that than nothing.
RAVEN?? Is that your shadow across the moon? Stop messing with me you mischievous crow! Are my eyes deceiving me? Am I and the girl going mad? Could remembrance of a friendship cause me such turmoil? Oh, I could relate more to Raven than any male owl. According to the males of my kind they are far superior in wisdom. They consider my role inferior to their wits, and astute ways. My mate comes around during the proper season and then goes on his way. We were brought together for the purpose of breeding, we have no relationship. Each year we have done our chore if we do not it could be the end of us, our species. And I still have the ancient tree.
My thoughts are rambling and chaotic. I cannot stop my convergent thoughts scrambling together. Maybe the full moon is driving me into a frenzy. Possibly it is the foreshadowing of something — I know something is coming. It is impossible to figure it out though because I have become too empathetic. I have lost my knowing. If Raven is here he could help me get refocused. Gain a clear owl mind, and bring back clarity for me and the girl. I do hope it is him.
I always felt more comfortable with Raven than I ever felt with my kind. We owls
can be loners anyway. I am not sure why Raven and I were immediate chums, it worked. Raven didn’t seem to fit well with his kind either. I guess that is why he was best suited for the boy. The boy and the girl are both oddities for their species. I cannot explain it well because, despite my innate knowledge of the girl I do not have the same instincts to other humans. I was assigned to her and her alone. I know her. I studied her — I think it’s because she was the first to study me…
My eyes and ears do not deceive me. My senses have been spot on. He is here! My Raven has come! Where is the girl? Where did she go? Oh, here she comes!
“Owl! Sweet Owl! Did you hear the “Caw” of the raven? I have not heard the voice of that raven in years. I know that raven Owl! Look at him crossing the full moon with his form. His familiar shadow brings me peace. I feel like dancing Owl, but I can’t. I cannot dance tonight, but I will come and see you tomorrow. Good night dear Owl, and lovely Tree, and my sweet Moon who gives me light in my lonely room.”
Raven, I see you!
“Hello Owl, it has been a while.”
Raven! It is you. You sneaky shiny bird, you have been messing with me all this time haven’t you? You sit upon my tree with your obtrusive stance.
“Not on purpose, it wasn’t time. It still isn’t quite the right time, but I had to see you. I have flown by in the day, sometimes in the night. I did want to talk to you Owl.“
Tell me Raven where have you been? I have missed you so — tell me are you here with the boy? How long are you staying? Did you see the girl? It’s so good to see you!
“Owl, I only have a moment I have to get back to the boy. He is here. We are going to be here a while. I wanted to warn you before he shows up.”
Shows up? Raven he cannot come here. He cannot see her.
“My dear Owl, you have allowed emotions to wash over you. We cannot stop anything. We are only here to guide subtly. You remember that you are an owl?”
Raven — have you no heart at all? I am not sure I know how to guide her with all of this. I feel I have failed already. I have failed her in guidance — I am not sure I can bear failing her again.
“Owl they are humans. You need to remember your post. I have to go, but we will catch up on another day. When I return we are not speaking of the past. Owl do not bring up the past with the humans. We will share our times, old and the new ones we have experienced. Good night my friend Owl.”
Good night Raven, I will see you in a few days?
“In a few days Owl.”
My Raven has returned. I am not sure what to feel about this, but the girl is overjoyed. How am I not supposed to feel for her? Raven is right, I have forgotten my post. I need to stop thinking of the girl. Maybe Raven will help me get back to my normal self. Shake off the humanness I have acquired and be the owl that I am supposed to be. He is so stern when it comes to the humans. I can tell he has a task at hand — we have been through this before. I fear we may have some terrible thunderstorms approaching as well. I cannot hide my happiness of his return. I wonder what is coming with him. What secrets and awareness does he hold for this time? His presence makes me feel uneasy and steadfast at the same time.
I think I have been too close to the girl. I have lost some of my insight — both of us need our eyes and ears opened. My loneliness has made me frail. There are secrets to be revealed and insights that need to be seen. It is time for the girl and me to get back to our true nature.
Oh, my dear Raven I am so happy to see you. Good night.